After posting last week from some of the darkness & questioned sanity I was experiencing in my inner Gethsemane, death, grieving and a robbery all hit at once. I didn’t immediately affirm divine order but pretty soon into it as grace so definitely enveloped me. Now a week later, the pain of it seems so distant yet still real. And yes, compared to Jesus on the cross, my week was a cake walk yet we all have our crosses to bear don’t we?! In my grace filled world, the death was of the 5th & final calf of the season at my dad’s ranch. I learned even more about cows. They grieve really deeply. And me being the empath I am, I would feel their grief and start crying every time I drove in ~ I especially felt the sadness of that poor mama all full of milk and missing for her calf that our neighbor took away for the buzzards. She kept returning to the birth spot:
The seasoned neighbors and ranchers took it all in stride while I was in full blown oneness & compassion. I would send mama and the others lots of Love and peace for their loss. And I would knowingly watch mama eating grass with a fervor that surpassed the average spring grass feeding zeal ~ I didn’t consider that cows could be emotional eaters?! She seems to have calmed down now though her heart and bag are still heavy.
Meanwhile, as full as my dad’s ranch is of ancestral remnants, the store in town was packed to the brim. And the store was the place that was robbed and ransacked. The details of all of this are vast and actually pretty fascinating. I may have to write a book featuring these relations! But for our purposes here and now, I will summarize a few of the juicy tidbits. My dad’s uncle had run the store and all it’s many functions ~ Al was a master alchemist and known far and wide for his saddle oils and taxidermy among other things. An array of the stuffed animals ~ deer, owls, etc. are there in the store along with a huge amount of ‘stuff’. Antoinette was Al’s wife; reportedly a good cook, fine seamstress and an overbearing, overprotective mother who sheltered their daughter Grace from becoming what she wanted in the world. Grace wanted to be a teacher but her mother wouldn’t allow it. Grace played saxophone and after 2 concerts with the community band, her mother made her quit. Grace did have pen pals world wide and kept every piece of correspondence. The whole family was Christian Scientist, didn’t ‘do’ doctors, and Al lived to be 86. So, daughter Grace lived in the place above the store her whole life and after her parents Al & Antoinette died, she remained there. All of her childhood things remained there. With failing sanity, the place became messier and messier. Grace died in 1989 and my dad, as executor of the estate, has been paying taxes and utilities on this property all these years, waiting for the lawyers to figure out probates as each died without a will. My dad thought the probates should be in place before cleaning up the place and dispensing of any treasures there. So when the thieves went in, they unceremoniously opened every drawer, dumped, stashed, trashed as they went. Hard to say what they took except for some big items like an ornate silver and gold cash register from the store ~ the other register they smashed up trying to get at any ‘loot’. They had gained entry through broken glass in the front and just took things out the back. I went in to find a trail of ‘goodies’ like old hats dropped on the stairs on the way out. The local police took a report over the phone and said if I could give them an itemized list of what was taken, they could put it out there. 2 days later, I noticed they had been back … or someone had. Not so much more things stolen but definitely things moved around. Now, the building is hopefully secure and a major clean up has begun. I have been talking to these ancestors for a good while now and they are relieved to say the least that we are indeed taking care of all this unfinished business! We not only are cleaning but starting to repurpose:
There are so many small things too; the thieves had taken some of the pictures so I gathered up as many as I could and will figure out distribution from here … There’s still plenty to clean down there but we are doing it ~ I guess, in part, thanks to the thieves! It is the ever present, Omni presence of divine order!
So yes, even though last week I thought I was drowning in the affairs of others, I took a super deep dive from there with all this store business, my dad’s new energizer bunny pacemaker, hosting Easter breakfast here for 11 …. And! I am that I am. It is not I but the Spirit within me that doeth the work. So with this indwelling grace and Spirit, I will continue to clean up ancestral messes as well as realign with my own messes, aka, works in progress! I plan to reflect that work thematically the next few weeks and beyond here at the blog and the sites.Do know that the Free Shelf at the Creative Spirit Families’ Leaping Literacy Library is always full!
Thanks for sharing the stories this week; I am so grateful for the prayer of you, your heart that cares, and for our time shared! Whatever trails or beliefs you are exploring, joy or grief you are experiencing, may you know the presence of divine order grace and the perfection of you in every step, and every breath! Namaste, Love!