Namaste Magnificent Dewdrops of Divine Dedication!
Happy 2/2 Day of Imbolc & Sughnassad, Saint Brighid of Kildare, & Groundhogs too! This is a day of power and prophecy … and just another manic Monday!
I am choosing consistency in our mindful Monday moment together with deep breath gratitude and a free flow of faith. My week has been full of life questioning and life affirming actions … a look at death and a look at birth. Lots more tasks for my dad’s life including an intense time of him going into the local convalescent hospital for rehab. Before I recount a bit of that, let’s look at the lighter side of my tasks this week …
I felt the swell of pride and responsibility as the first 2 calves arrived ~ those of my dad’s cows that I’ve been tending. I learned a lot and thought I’d share! Because I can … here and now … and because one of the lessons of the cows was how they give birth and keep on keeping on even and especially with all the messiness of it all ~
So I been feeding the cows behind the barn but when the calves first come, they don’t travel right away so our first mama was staying down the field with her little one. I took her some hay as the drought laden fields still aren’t producing too much.
This first mama is super protective ~ check the look in her eye!
So after I fed her, check the softer look of gratitude:
Meanwhile, I was at first horrified and then later mystified about how the internal workings of the birth work with cows. Apparently, I either tuned this out as a kid growing up with them or just totally forget because it was all new to me! The placenta, et al just literally hangs out of the mama … for days sometimes … Now gentle viewers, close your eyes!
I really appreciate all this because I feel like I am in a continual integration of all my own messiness and blessiness! All of this (cows and beeeeeeyond) is teaching me, yet again, that the peace is to be found in non-judgment! By the way, none of the other cows have issues with the ‘baggage’ of the birthing mamas!
Now, the 2nd calf has come but mama # 2 is not skipping the barn feedings, she is leaving her little one stashed up on the hill. I’m on my way out shortly to make sure I set eyes on her/him ~ and to make sure my dad is up and moving.
Long story shorter, they were releasing my dad last week from the acute hospital to go home. We didn’t think it the right decision since he hadn’t been on his swollen 89 year old feet for 10 days and he wasn’t all that steady before his hospital stay and hernia surgery. So, we opted for the rehab at the (only) local convalescent hospital. I had worked at this place as a very lightly trained teen and had horror stories. Surely it was different now. Surely the rehab portion was different. Not so. Nothing against the well intentioned, caring staff but the sheer bed to aid ratio seemingly insures some level of neglect. The first thing that happened was that they were drugging my dad so he would not be in pain and that he could sleep. The drugs were not only unnecessary but made it all that much harder for him to get up and moving. I’ll spare us more of the gruesome details but my sister and niece came up with their boyfriends and we took him out for fresh air, for lunch at his favorite restaurant and to his ranch to see his cows …
I gotta say, I wasn’t keen on taking my car out in the field but the dry weather made for relatively solid (yet bumpy!) ground. Oh the things you do for Love!
You know, there’s been a lot of things I’ve been doing of late I never thought I would! Yesterday my other sister came up and we took dad back to the ranch. He walked in the house. His first real walking since he entered the hospital 2 weeks ago. This morning I was on the phone getting his discharge underway so he will go home tomorrow or the next day.
As I breathe into the acceptance and peace always available, I continue to choose to be there for my dad. I have had a few mini pity parties and plenty of soul searching over the situation. I was my dad’s first born and he wanted a boy. His rejection of me at my birth set a pattern my maverick artist soul musta called forward. I could delve into the phycology of the little girl trying to please the one who didn’t want her and the layers of ancestral patterns of abandonment, betrayal, etc.. I could also rant on how I never had a real warm & fuzzy thing with my dad; how as a kid I thought his prejudice was just plain wrong and would tell him so. Still, my dad has a strong sense of family loyalty that has taught me a lot over the decades. I have that same sense of loyalty.
Revisiting the convalescent hospital, especially yesterday, in the intermittent glitz and blitz of the Super Bowl, I have been really impassioned of how we have gone so wrong in this culture. We fear and sidestep death; choosing quantity over quality of life. (Had I fully understood my dad’s condition, I never would have told him to get the pacemaker last summer.) And then, so many elders tucked away where they are kept and cared for in a rudimentary way … some of them like vegetables … holy cow, where is the LIFE?! Decades ago, when working there, I wrote this poem:
My mind and y eyes drift back and forth between you and the rain.
I syringe in your food and remove your wet sheets as you sleep away your pain.
Lady of age, victim of deterioration …
I wonder about things you made in the past
like babies and conversation.
I’m not sure why God lets you live to see another tomorrow.
I’ll be here to keep you clean though I can’t wash away your sorrow.
~ Laurie Vela
So, my life loving, heart embracing good ones …. I am staying in peaceful service to this life I am ever co-creating … Including all my creative literacy offerings ~ online and off! I have local Creative Arts classes set to start at week’s end and I’m unsure if I can pull it off … need some more peeps! I have done plenty of outreach … not sure if I’ve voiced the offerings with enough clarity or if it can be that my local peeps are not called to my offerings of creativity and originality. I am keeping the faith and knowing its a great co-creation either which way! Our February PlayShop is also this coming Sunday so I just keep feeling, seeing, knowing the Creative Spirit Families presence filling our little Community Building with joy and love, sweet Love!
Our online offerings are also filling cyberspace with the Love vibration with Marvelous Memberships and a Free Library Card to access weekly goodies from all our main section branches:
Whatever you are birthing, forecasting, or meditating on this mindful moment … with or without the rituals of this 2/2 … may you know that you are Love choosing to be more Love in any given moment. Namaste, my Love!